Loony Blurbs is the awesome new fortnightly meme created by Emily; where we create book blurbs based purely on the title of the book and laugh at all the possibilities one title can bring. You can find more about this meme and how to join in here.
I loved reading Emily’s loony blurbs, and now I’m here to create some of my own!
Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
Little nine year old Fire’s parents are Smoke and Bone. She loves her parents ever so much, but no one at school likes her because her Mummy and Daddy have weird names, and so does she. She doesn’t have any friends, and even though Smoke and Bone are famous chefs, the parents of the kids at school don’t seem to like her either.
Fire doesn’t know how she can cope being teased at school any more, and decides to fill in name-changing forms for her family to see if that will fix the problem.
Jono’s parents own a trampoline factory. When all the trampolines somehow mysteriously disappear, and then appear in the Priceless Town Square, his parents are framed for the crime and locked up in jail.
It’s up to Jono to figure out just who did it and set his parents free.
It seems though, the title should be Walking Trampolines instead of Walking on Trampolines because Jono seems to think the trampolines are moving themselves…
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C S Lewis
The Sacred Wardrobe is a fascinating legend passed down through both the Lions and the Witches- who are utter enemies, and completely different. The Lions are physically powerful while the Witches are mentally powerful. It has been a race to find the Sacred Wardrobe for centuries, and when a Witch finally finds a clue that will lead them to the Wardrobe, the Lions will do anything to get it.
Ana is the leader of the Sister clique, a group of slightly crazy girls. They believe that if they take turns wearing one pair of pants without ever washing them, it will become magical, and lead them to world domination. Every day, one of the 6 girls wears the pair of pants, that same pair that hasn’t been washed for 8 months…
Their on the edge of giving up. Now their convinced a skirt will work better.
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
In Tiana’s city there is a kleptomaniac out and about stealing people’s bones. Some say he is a worker of the CoB, taking them to the legendary City of Bones. However, a pattern of the stolen bones seems to emerge, and it seems that this thief is only taking the bones from people’s thumbs.
After, three months, Tiana is the only person who’s bones haven’t been touched, and odd dreams are coming to haunt her, saying that she’s the kleptomaniac taking people’s bones. When she tells her so-called friends about this, they turn her in for the reward money. Now, the police are forcing Tiana to find the City of Bones or face lifetime imprisonment for something she has no memory of doing…
The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E Lockhart
Frankie Landau-Banks was born a Lowly, and she has a gift no one else has. Using this gift, she changes her identity and becomes a part of the Royale community, where everything you want is yours. The trouble is though, her gift can only be used three times, and she has used it up. Now no longer under the spell, the Lowly community are all after her, for breaking the pact she was born into agreeing to…
And if her new Royale friends found out she wasn’t actually Royale they wouldn’t invite her to the Annual Royale Party!
In Jandy’s world there are Gifts, that grant you certain things. At school, Ricky proclaims that he found a Moon, and he would give it to someone because he already has a Moon. He invents the I’ll Give You game, and everyone’s giving him things.
Someone even offered to give Ricky a double up of the Sun, the best Gift of them all. But Jandy thinks there’s something fishy about all of this. Ricky’s taking in everything but no one’s actually seen the Moon he said he found…
THIS WAS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY HARD, BUT HEAPS OF FUN. 😀